


We Were In Screaming Colour

by childofsurprise



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fear of Abandoment, POV Ben Solo, POV Rey (Star Wars), PTSD, Past Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reylo - Freeform, Self Harm, Slow Burn, Slow Burn Rey/Kylo Ren, Star Wars AU, Therapy, lots of hand holding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:33:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23081779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/childofsurprise/pseuds/childofsurprise
Summary: Artist and gallery owner Rey meets wealth art enthusiast Ben Solo at her debut, not knowing he had brought the entire collection of her naked portraits she posed for in college. She is determined to get the paintings back, he's not giving them up lightly.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Rose Tico, Kaydel Ko Connix/Jannah, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 108
Kudos: 263





	1. Chapter One

Rey smoothed her white blouse once more, eliminating creases that did not exist. She could feel heat circulating her body and prayed she wouldn’t sweat through the fabric before the doors had even opened. Her hands went to her bun.

“Stop fussing,” Rose ordered from the corner, her eyes not leaving her clipboard as she ticked off tasks they had completed. 

Rey snatched her hands away, back to her abdomen, and decided to take a lap of the room. The movement, she hoped, would steady her. Five minutes.

_Breathe in for five, hold for five, out for five, hold for five, in for five..._

The gallery was large; open white walls and floor with paintings and sculptures she’d made placed strategically within the space alongside small placards detailing her process, materials, influences and title of the art. Rose, Kaydel, Jannah, Finn, and Poe were scattered over the floor, ironing out the last minute details and triple checking each piece to ensure its safety and position. Rey smiled, her eyes beginning to glisten as she gazed at her friends. Hold up, she reminded herself, taking a few deep breaths. Her chest still felt tight and she slid a hand under her silk shirt and massaged it until it loosened. 

She felt a gentle hand touch her arm and spun to face Poe, holding out a glass of water.

“Drink.” 

She did, focusing on her breath and swallowing, not interrupting the liquid flowing down. When finished she smiled at her friend and handed it back. Poe squeezed her shoulder, his warm, unwavering brown eyes meeting her hazel.

“It’ll be great. You’ve worked too hard for this to fail. It won’t. Believe me?”

“Sometimes.” She admitted.

His smiled cocked and he squeezed her shoulder again before jogging off to dispose of her glass as Kaydel announced the doors were opening. Rey swung her shoulders back, lifted her chin, placed a smile on her face and swept towards the crowd, praying she, her team and their work were well received. 

* * *

Ben Solo caught the door and walked through it ensuring the person behind him caught it once he let go. He tugged at the sleeves of his suit, taking in space. It was spacious with copious paintings and sculptures at his disposal. He smiled which was wiped away as he felt a shoulder brush his.

“What are you specifically looking for Solo?” Hux asked. 

Ben shrugged. “Something unique. Something I can sell on in a few years once she’s made her name.”

Hux nodded, his fingers flying over the iPhone notes app, his forehead creasing in concentration. Once finished a ghost of a smile flittered across his face before he slid the phone back into his pocket and began his walk across the gallery. 

Ben accepted a glass of champagne with a strawberry inside the bubbling liquid and, glancing upon the sculptures, prowled towards the painting section. He was aware the artist and her team were here. He caught a glimpse of Hux speaking to one of them, a petite pretty lady holding a clipboard, and vowed to speak to the artist once he had seen some of her pieces; to question her deeper about them. 

One of the paintings of two bodies intertwined with one another in front of a curtain came into his eye line. His head throbbed, a memory pressing against his brain. He had seen her work before. He was certain but where? This was her debut. Possibly a college graduate art show? Doubtful. He shook his head, took a sip of champagne, and walked on to the next painting of the goddess Persephone surrounded by dying flowers. The curve of the goddess’ body once more triggered a hazy memory. 

“Solo.” 

Ben turned to face Phasma, a fellow art collector and employee of First Order Art. He smiled cooly.

“Phasma.”

“Gorgeous brushwork.” She fell into step next to him as they strolled to the next painting. Ben nodded. 

“She clearly takes influence from the Renaissance’s methods.” He commented, wondering how to sidle away from her without being rude. “Do you know where Miss. Johnson is?”

“She’s over there.” Phasma nodded towards the nearest corner where the artist was chatting to some press. As her face turned towards the journalist nearest them, Ben choked, recognition clicking in his brain. 

“Solo?” Phasma frowned, resting a hand upon his arm as he wheezed

“I’m fine.” He stumbled from Phasmas touch, almost losing his footing, his chest caving in. He could feel the heat rising, his collar clinging to his throat, eyes beginning to turn and stare. He swallowed and straightened up. He gazed back at each pair of eyes that met his, each of them turning away when they made contact until he met Phasmas. She nodded at his demeanour and turned back to the Greek myth-inspired painting. 

“Do you know her Solo?” She breathed as he stepped in line with her once more. 

Ben clenched his jaw, his hand threatening to break the glass he was holding.

“In a way.” 

“She’s making her way over,” Phasma warned before drifting away. Ben’s shoulders and back ached from tension as he weighed his options. If he stayed, he’d have to talk to her. If he ran, he wouldn’t be able to show his face at another art event and have to change professions. He could drift around the gallery, always one step ahead of her but that may look bizarre.

“Hey.” 

A melodic voice caught him off guard and he turned towards her. Rey Johnson. She stood in front of him, a concerned expression across her features. Bens breath hitched in his throat as he look at her. She was beautiful. Far more beautiful than her paintings would suggest. Her hair was in a bun with tendrils curly gently which framed her face and highlight her cheekbones perfectly. The slight red hint of her hair brought out her freckles which were scattered across her face.

“Hi. I’m enjoying your work.” He stumbled, realising she was awaiting a response.

“Thanks.” Her eyebrow and lips quirked. Ben took a deep breath and leaned backward, his finger loosening around his glass. He had to keep her speaking of her current work and hope she hadn’t spotted him.

“I was just checking you’re okay because I saw you nearly fall.”

_God fucking damn it._

“I’m good thank you.” He tried to smile. She smiled back, hesitantly. 

“Wanted to make sure you didn’t take my painting with you.” She teased. Ben felt the heat rising once more. 

“I’m enjoying your work.” He repeated, determined for her to follow his conversation.

She blushed.

_Cute._

“Thanks. I like your work too.”

He smiled, surprised. “You read my work?”

Her eyes sparkled and her smile widened. “Of course I do! I loved your study of Sofonisba Anguissola.”

“I see you used a lot of inspiration from her work.” Ben would feel himself beginning to fall into the conversation. He smiled as she nodded enthusiastically, both of them leaning forward.

“Yes! Her self portrait is outstanding and one of the first of its kind.”

“Yes, much like yours of you paining yourself lying in bed.”

Confusion flittered across her face and Ben felt a chill ripple down his spine.

_Fuck._

“W-wh-which one?” She stuttered, her knuckles on her glass white as was her face. 

Ben reconsidered his three options before deciding to bite the bullet. He sighed and readied himself. 

“The paintings you did of yourself a few years back. In various... positions. And I bought them.”

Throughout his talk, Rey had turned from white to grey. She was swaying and seemed to have trouble breathing. 

“I didn’t do anything with them.” He reassured her, hastily. Oh, strike me down now. “They’re at my home.” 

She stared at him open-mouthed. 

“Miss-Miss Johnson?” He took a tiny step towards her, ready to catch if she fell. She snapped her jaw shut and walked away from him. 

* * *

Rey marched into the back room of the gallery, holding her breath yet still smiling at those whom she made eye contact with. She shut the door, leaned against it and let out her breath. 

_Breath in for five, hold for five, out for five, hold for five._

She chanted mentally following her instructions yet the tears were still threatening. The door pushed against her back. She clenched her jaw,, her teeth gritting together and leaned against it harder. The door shoved and threw her forwards, her hands and knees stinging as they hit the floor. 

“You okay honey?”

Rey’s tears came tumbling out of her as she sank down onto the cold floor. She heard the door shut and felt Rose’s body encircling hers as she cried. 

“I-I’m-I’m getting your d-dr-dress wet.” 

Rose shrugged and hugged her tighter. “That’s why I brought my blazer. Is there a light switch in here?”

Rey shrugged and gently sat back up, sniffing and pressing her hands into her eyes, willing the tears back inside her. Roses’ hand rubbed her back as she did. 

“Do you want to talk about it? I saw you speaking to Mr. Solo and honesty, he’s just one opinion in a sea and never mind if he doesn’t like your show and-”

“No, no it’s not him. Well, it is him but not about this artwork.” Rey corrected her. Rose’s hand stopped for a second before continuing rubbing circles on her back. 

“Do you want to talk about it?’ Rose repeated, softly, moving closer to Rey. Rey took a deep breath, closed her eyes and began.

“You know how I grew up... and well, although I worked and had funding for uni I still struggled for money so I... I painted nude portraits and sold them online and it seems Mr. Solo-“ She gritted her teeth. “Brought them all and keeps them in his house and, quote, didn’t do anything with them.”

Rose snorted.

“I bet he has done stuff with them.”

Rey smiled which turned into a laugh as Rose waggled her eyebrows at her. Rose enveloped her into a hug which she returned, grateful she had friends which accepted and loved her. 

“Thank you for understanding.” She mumbled into her friend's shoulder. 

“You did what you had to do to survive.” Rose pulled away and adjusted Rey’s collar. “There’s no shame in that. I worked as a shitty pa to get through uni, we all worked dodgy jobs. Poe sold drugs which is arguably worse than what you did.”

“He did?!” Rey’s jaw dropped. Rose nodded and made a keep it a secret face. Rey smiled and nodded, her entire self relaxing. She wound her arms tighter around Rose and squeezed her which was returned. Rey squeezed harder and Rose responded until they were both crushing one another and giggling between their wheeze and grunts. 

“Love you,” Rey whispered.

“Love you too.” Rose gently stroked Rey’s hair into a presentable state and helped her stand. “Do you need me to buffer for you?”

Rey sighed and fiddled with her necklace. “No, I’ll be fine.”

Although Rose smiled, her hands shook slightly. Rey swallowed and once more smoothed her shirt, which did have creases in it this time. She stroked her clothing until they were faded. She took a deep breath and steadied her hands. _I need those paintings back._

“Ready?”

“Steady.” Rey squared her shoulders and left the room, a prowl in her step, a direct line straight towards Ben Solo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya! Thank you for reading my story! I got the inspiration for this from [@galacticidiots](https://twitter.com/galacticidiots) on twitter so shout out to her. I welcome all comments, notes and constructive criticism :)


	2. Chapter Two

As she walked towards him, Rey rehearsed what she should say in her head. She needed the paintings back, yes, but she was certain he wouldn’t simply hand them over if she asked nicely. She watched as Ben Solo shifted in his spot, speaking to a tall blonde woman and Finn. He hadn’t looked at her yet but she could sense that he knew she was walking towards him and didn’t want to be left alone. Her heart felt heavy, her stomach was fluttering, and slow in her chest and the walk, so short when she had gone towards the back room, stretched for miles it seemed.

When she eventually reached the small gathering, Finn broke into a grin and slung an arm over her shoulders.

“Woman of the hour!” He announced gleefully, squeezing her closer. Rey blushed and peeked at Ben Solo. _He is handsome._ She shoved the thought aside. He nodded his head in acknowledgement towards her and wordlessly handed her a glass of champagne. Her hand trembled as it stretched out to receive the glass.

It wrapped around the cool glass, making contact with his. A jolt ran through her body and she stepped backwards slightly, snatching her hand away. As this happened, Ben Solos’ eyes widened, he took a sharp breath inwards and likewise drew backwards, like a wounded animal. The champagne glass plummeted towards the floor and smashed, glass and liquid flying at their feet.

Rey glanced at her hand. Normal. She looked at Ben Solos hand. He flexed it once before returning it to his side. The electricity was lessening yet they avoided one another’s eyes.

“I’ll get the broom.” The weight of Finn’s arm left her body as he jogged away. “I’ll get you another glass.” The blonde lady said, turning and moving towards refreshments table.

“Are you okay Miss. Johnson?” Ben asked, sounding strained. He started moving away from the mess, his hand hovering by her lower back, prompting her to move with him towards her painting of a siren. Rey found herself following his lead. She stared at her painting blindly. He cleared his throat softly and she steeled herself. They stood side by side, looking at one another in their peripheral vision, close but not touching. Her stomach was fluttering wildly.

“Yes. No.” She corrected herself. “I’d like to speak to you.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You are.”

She fought to keep her frustration from showing upon her face yet couldn’t control her eyebrows knitting together.

“I’m happy to reimburse you for the, my paintings.” She began, in a half-whisper.

“Technically, they’re mine.”

“What?”

“I brought and kept them and, in this country at least, that legally means they’re mine.”

She spluttered, the skin across her face becoming tighter. She balled her hands into fists. _Calm down, you’re being watched._ She could see other guests gazing at the pair of them, no doubt wondering why they weren’t moving or facing each other. She steadied herself and tried again.

“I’ll trade you. A painting-“ she nodded towards the siren. “For a painting.”

Her palms were sweating. She fought the urge to pull at her shirt. Instead she pressed flatted her palms into her thighs, awaiting his response.

He did not answer her but walked away, to the next painting. Anger rippled through her. _This fucking dickhead._ She followed him, standing a touch closer to him than before. The knot in her chest tightened and her mouth felt dry.

“Mr. Solo those paintings are important to me.” She breathed. He slightly turned his face towards her indicating he was listening. She swallowed and continued.

“I made them because I was desperate and broke and I’m in a much better place now so please can I have them back? If they got out...’ Rey hated the way her voice began to rise in pitch and tremble. She swallowed roughly, blinking back tears. Ben Solo did not answer but turned back to the painting. His shoulders clenched and he rolled them out.

“Not now, Miss. Johnson.” He started walking away from her. Rage ripped through her. _Damn him._

She stalked after him, planting herself in front of him, not caring who saw.

“Give them to me.” She hissed.

Ben flinched, his mouth opening a touch and his breathe sucked in audibly. Rey leaned forward, allowing her rage to envelope her face. Ben’s jaw slacked and what seemed liked wonder and fear flashed in his eyes before his face went blank. He drew himself up to his full height, his soulful eyes turning dark. Rey fought not to flinch, her chest tightening, her heartbeat rushed in her ears, beads of sweat broke out across her forehead.

“Coffee tomorrow at ten. National Gallery. We can discuss then.” With that, he turned and exited the gallery. Rey allowed the breathe she’d been holding go. Bossy, self-entitled, rude, arrogant she ranted as she straightened and placed her smile back onto her face, before being swept up by other guests wishing to speak to her.

***

Ben launched himself through the gallery doors, his back slick with sweat causing his shirt to cling uncomfortably. His fingers went to his tie which he yanked from his neck. He dropped it and continued down the street, occasionally knocking shoulders with people. Nobody challenged him, however when they saw his thunderous expression.

Never had he been spoken to like that in public. And she had made it public. Extremely public. She had faced him down in the middle of her own show, daring him. He’d listened to her stupidity in trying to claim they were hers and then her bargaining poorly. He’d felt a flutter in his stomach as she’d pleaded softly and was going to speak to her once he’d retired them to a quiet corner. But instead she had confronted him. Energy radiating off her so thick it was almost tangible, impressively bearing down on him, not caring who looked on. Focused on her task. He almost admired her for her ferocity.

He breathed heavily, his skin crawling, his head pounding. He wanted to run. He wanted to go to sleep. He wanted a drink. He wanted to punch something. Ben sensed the person running towards him before they entered his personal bubble. He spun round and lashed out.

His vision focused and he saw Hux fall onto the floor, exclaiming. Ben shook his head and wrapped a hand around his friend’s upper arm and pulled him back onto his feet, avoiding Hux’s brown eyes glaring at him.

“Get off me you madman.” Hux shoved Ben, tugging his clothes back into a reasonable state, brushing the dirt of the city from his suit. “I‘ve called for the car, he’ll be here in a minute.”

Ben nodded which Hux returned, moving to stand next to him on the pavement. A charged silence hung between them. Ben could feel an elastic band winding itself around his head and pressing inwards. He glanced at Hux who was deliberately avoiding his eye line. Ben sighed.

“Sorry for...” he waved his hand vaguely. “I wasn’t thinking.”

“Not the first. Not the last.” Hux mouth moulded into a tiny smirk and Ben felt the knot in his chest loosen slightly. “I spoke to Rose Tico, she’s part of Johnson’s team, and we’re meeting tomorrow to confirm which pieces you’d like-”

“No.”

“No? I spent all evening scouring that gallery, looking for pieces for you.”

“I’ve changed my mind.” Ben gritted his teeth, the band getting tighter. Hux sighed heavily and began muttering, typing on his phone. Ben ignored him, his head feeling like it was about to explode, and climbed into the back of the car as it rolled up to the curb.

Once inside he poured himself a whiskey and rubbed his forehead. He could feel Hux’s eyes on him and couldn’t meet them. He’d seen his confrontation with Rey Johnson and was curious, it radiated off of him in waves. Ben downed his drink and set the glass down, praying Hux would leave it, knowing he wouldn’t. _Best offence is attack._

“Yes?” He snapped before Hux could, leaning back in his chair, boring into Hux’s eyes. Hux cleared his throat.

“You and Johnson looked... intense.”

“She wants a good review.” Ben shrugged, turning to the window. He could feel sweat trickling down the side of his face, betraying him. He fought the urge to wipe it away. He clenched his fists, his nails digging into his skin.

“That’s a lot of effort for a review. And she wasn’t like that with any other collector or press.” Hux pressed. “You-”

The car stopped, saving him. Ben flew from the car and into his house. He ripped his blazer off, his chest and head were tightening, pain rippling through his body. He struggled for breath as he undid his shirts buttons.

Rey Johnson’s reaction had unburied feelings and memories he fought constantly against. Her bargaining, her pleading, her attack, her manipulation. He swore nobody would ever use him like that once again since _him_ and she had strolled up and undid all of his work. He had to meet her tomorrow to try and take away this power she had acquired. And to discuss her bloody paintings.

_I wish I had never brought them. I wish I had never met Rey Johnson. I wish I had never met him. I wish I was born someone else. I wish none of this had happened._

A scream tore from his mouth, tears brimmed over his cheeks and he threw his shoes at the wall.

***

Covered in sweat, tears streaking down his face, Ben slumped on the wooden floor of his bedroom. His hands curled into fists, nails biting in. He felt drops of liquid upon his palms. Nausea rolled around his stomach, rising to his throat, his mouth and he felt like he could faint at any moment. He looked up at his wall, empty except for a painting of a woman, who he now knew as Rey Johnson. Her back, ass and legs bare, lying upon a white bed. Her dark hair was splayed over her back and the sheets, her face turned slightly to the side so you could peek at her serene sleeping face. His hands unclenched, his breath came easier, his stomach ceased rolling, tension rolled off him like a wave. He studied the painting until he was able to climb into bed, relaxed, poised, and fall into a deep dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya! Thank you for reading, kudos, bookmarks and commenting on my story! Each one makes me so happy :) I think I’ll update this story on Mondays and possibly Fridays too!


	3. Chapter Three

Ben awoke in his bed, his head aching, a metallic taste in his mouth. He stood and stretched, his shoulders cracking in response. He heard the rustle of his cleaner downstairs and heat rose as he recalled the state he’d left the downstairs.

The clock read nine am so he had to make a move quickly. He dressed, blinding seizing trousers, a shirt and a jacket. With a final glance at the painting, he half-smiled, straightened his back and stalked down the stairs and into the hallway. He grabbed his coat, keys, phone, sliding his feet into his shoes which were in a neat row. 

Cold morning air rushed towards him, enveloping him as he started down the street. He welcomed it, breathing it in deeply. He needed a clear head for dealing with Rey Johnson this morning. He couldn’t freak out again yet he also couldn’t give her back the paintings. He needed them. 

He entered the national gallery cafe and looked for her. She was sat in the corner, nose in a book, a pot of tea and a cup of coffee in front of her. Ben looked at her for a moment. The paintings, whilst a gorgeous likeness, did not do her justice. She was fiddling with a strand of hair from her half ponytail, one leg tucked under her as she sat in the armchair. Her raspberry dungarees matched her lips which were pursed in concentration. He wanted to smooth out the crease between her eyebrows. His chest swelled and his mouth became dry. He became aware of the blood pumping through his veins, delving into his abdomen and lower. He shook his head roughly, clenching his fists. _Focus._

He approached the table and cleared his throat. She glanced up and stood, dropping her book upon the floor and blushing.

“Hi.” She smiled slightly, retrieving her book. Ben’s breath hitched as she watched her sweep her hair out of her face as she straightened. _She’s so beautiful._ He swept the thought away as he placed his coat on the back of the chair and sat down as Rey did also.

“I, I got you a coffee. But I didn’t know if you took anything with it so I got you a selection.” She gestured to the array of milk, sugars, and sweeteners. He was unable to stop a soft smile erupting. 

“Thank you, Miss. Johnson.” He poured some milk in and stirred. The knot in his chest was back but when he glanced at her, it lessened slightly. _Stop._ He straightened in his seat and placed his palms flat on his thighs. He arranged his face into what he hoped was a blank slate. 

“I’m afraid I cannot give you back your paintings.” He stated, cutting straight to the chase. _No point delaying the inevitable._

He watched as Rey Johnson’s face begin to scrunch up and she seemed to be holding her breath. Once more he wanted to smooth out the crease between her eyebrows. _Is she okay?_ He leaned forward, his hand involuntarily reaching out to her, prepared to give her the Heimlich manoeuvre if needed. She straightened herself, leaning away from him and his hand fell back into his lap.

“Well, I’m afraid I need them back.” She spoke softly with an edge. It sent a chill down his spine and he pressed his fingertips into his legs. _No._ He could feel his body beginning to stir. His chest clenched, restricting his breathing. Cold sweat burst out of each pore on his skin, and he fought to stop moving. He pressed his hands into his thighs harder, his knuckles turning white. _No, no, no, no, nononononono._

“Why do you even need them?” She continued, a scornful look crossing her face. “You can get other stuff for free online, _moving_ images.” 

He almost snorted at that comment. He fought for composure, to look nonchalant. He forced his hands to relax and he leaned backward, his eyebrows quirking. “Sorry to break it to you, Miss. Johnson, but I don’t use them for that.”

She blushed, looking away. The sunlight swept across her face and he felt an ache within his chest that had nothing to do with his barely contained panic.

“Then why?” 

“I’m an art collector. I collect art which speaks to me, which inspires me, which soothes me,” he caught himself. _I need them!_ His mind screamed over and over and over. “And that’s what your artworks do Miss. Johnson. You’re incredibly talented, then and now and I would like to keep your art.” 

Whilst he was speaking, Rey’s face had become a deeper shade of red and she was staring at her hands. She sat in silence once he’d finished. Ben could feel his shoulders and base of his neck starting to ache with the tension he was holding. He felt like he was burning. Nausea throbbed in his abdomen, his throat closing, bile rising into his mouth, the taste swirling around. _Please, please, please_ his brain chanted. He could feel tears pricking at his eyes. He swallowed and blinked, fighting for control. If he couldn’t control his own body, how was he going to control the outcome of this situation? After what seemed like an age, Rey lifted her head once more, a determined glint in her eye. 

“Thank you, Mr. Solo. But I must insist on the return of my previous paintings.” 

Once the words had left Reys’ mouth, she held her breath. Ben Solo stared at her, unflinching, cold, detached. Yet she could see his forehead gleaming with sweat, his body softly trembling. _Is he okay?_ She scowled at the thought. No, she wasn’t going to worry about Ben Solo, she wasn’t going to care about him, she was going to defeat him, she was going to win, she was going to walk home with her paintings and burn them. 

Except he wasn’t moving. He didn’t seem to be breathing. Simply staring at her, seemingly severed from emotions. Rey felt heat flooding through her and averted her eyes. She glimpsed back but he still hadn’t moved. Instead, he was slowly turning a delicate shade of purple, veins popping in his neck, his hands, his jaw clenched. 

“Erm, Mr. Solo?” She whispered. Nothing. _Is he having some kind of attack?_ She stretched out a hand. “Mr. Solo?” Her fingertips grazed the top of his hand. A familiar jolt ran through her once more and woke him up. His body jerked yet their skin maintained contact. 

He abruptly stood and marched away from her. _Oh my god._ Her jaw clenched, fury ripped through her. He wasn’t walking away from her this time, he was going to relinquish her paintings today. Now. She grabbed her belongings and went after him. 

“Hey.” She called at his retreating back. “Hey! Mr. Solo!” 

She saw his back ripple and his pace sped up. She clutched her bag to her and started to jog. Almost as if he sensed this, he sped up again. He stalked across the gallery, towards a disabled toilet. _What the..._

“Hey!” She called again, borderline running towards him. “Stop!” 

He got to the toilet and opened the door. Rey sprinted towards it and managed to reach the door before it shut, wenching her foot between the door and the frame. She could feel eyes upon her but didn’t care. She tried to wriggle into the toilet but the door pushed against her so she remained wedged. 

“Mr. Solo.” She snarled. “You better come out of there and talk to me. You need to give me back my paintings, stop being a child. You don’t need them, I don’t care what you use them for, hand them over.” 

Silence greeted her. She sighed, her bag slipping from her shoulder. This little movement gave Ben Solo the momentum he needed to drive her from the doorway and slam the door shut. Rey stumbled, her feet landing roughly upon the floor to catch her balance. She caught her bag in her hand and stared at the locked toilet door. Anger bubbled up inside her. _He_ was the one who wanted to meet, he was the one who asked, no, demanded she turned up here. The least he could do is look her in the eye and tell her properly, honestly, why he wasn’t giving her back her work. 

_He hasn’t released them yet._ She pushed the thought aside. Just because he hadn’t, doesn’t mean he would now he had matched her identity with them. It felt as though a cat was sitting on her chest and tears started forming. _No. Stop. Don’t cry. You won’t cry._ She could scold herself. She squared her shoulders, made a fist and banged on the door. 

“Solo!’ She yelled. “Open up!” 

Passers-by stared at her and she glared back. Her arm soon tired from banging the wooden door. She pressed her ear against the wood, trying to hear something, anything. _Nothing... No, wait, what is that?_ She could hear the odd bang and the sound like choking. _What’s he doing in there?_ She felt panic starting to rise but shoved it back down. She wasn’t going to feel sorry for him. The banging and choking became louder and more frequent. _Is he having some kind of attack?_ She wondered once more, pressing her body flat against the wood, straining to listen. The sound of crying was faint but definitely there. _Oh, fuck me he’s panicking._

“Mr. Solo?” She called softly, tapping on the door. “Please open up. Are you okay?” She tugged at the handle. “Can you hear me? Solo?” The door made a sound and cracked slightly. She sighed but made no move to push it further. Instead, she moved against the wall, next to the cracked door and sat upon the cold floor of the museum. Rey looked through the crack. She couldn’t see Ben Solo but knew he was there. The banging had stopped but the sniffles and choking sound remained. 

“Mr. Solo?” She whispered. “Has this happened before? The... panic attack?” 

Silence. _Maybe yes, maybe no. Horrible either way._ Rey took a deep breath. _I can’t believe I’m about to help Ben Solo though this._ She wiped away her scowl and began in a soft, what she hoped to be soothing, voice. 

“Breath with me, okay? I’ll help you. In for five. One, two, three, four, five. Hold for five. One, two, three, four, five. Out for five. One, two, three, four, five. Hold for five. One, two, three, four, five.” She chanted the breathing technique until she saw his face lean against the door and look at her. His gaze was soft yet intense. She felt his eyes studying her face as if memorising it, burning it into his memory. She felt heat swirl within her body but didn’t rise to her face. She watched him look at her. Her heart pounded close to her skin, blood rushed in her ears, her mouth went dry. She felt transparent, naked, exposed. But not awkward or vulnerable oddly. Rey wished the gallery would cave in except for their corner and they could stay here forever. 

As he studied, Ben’s choking and sniffing stopped and was replaced by steady breathing. Rey smiled, which he shyly returned, his eyes lighting up. He stood and she followed him upwards, her neck arching backward as she took in his height. _He’s tall. Large._ The heat returned to her face. A hand stretched down to her, inviting. She slid her hand into his, a familiar jot running through her once more. This time, neither one of them flinched but accepted it. She marveled at how small it looked against his. He tightened his grip and helped her stand. 

Rey glanced behind him into the toilet cubicle. It was a mess, with objects tossed upside down and paper strewn everywhere. He gazed at her, his eyes wide yet calm and warm.

Rey smiled which he returned. She became hyper-aware of her hand, wound into his. It wasn’t uncomfortable or awkward, just unfamiliar. Rey felt panic rising within herself, not knowing the cause. Her stomach exploded with butterflies. 

“Do you often have... those?” He asked.

Slowly, she nodded. 

He gave her hand a gentle squeeze and looked at her with the same intense gaze as before.

“You’re not alone.”

“Neither are you.” She took a tiny step forward, pressing her hand into his. They were both breathing heavily, Rey’s butterflies were having a rave inside of her. He shifted, breaking the gaze, redness rising up his neck. He unlinked his hand from hers and turned to go.

_Stop, come back._

“Do you want to see the Titan exhibition with me?” He asked, spinning on the spot back to face her. 

“Yes.” The word ran out of her mouth before her head caught up. “But I have a brunch in the morning.”

“Okay.” She had never noticed how deep and delicate and gorgeous his voice was. “So I’ll see you at twelve in the cafe at our table again.”

She nodded, warmth enveloping her. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow at twelve then Miss. Johnson. We can... continue our talk.” Ben nodded at her and moved past her, their bodies close but not quite touching. She watched him leave, an ache within her, heat engulfing her, a smile breaking over her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my favourite chapter to write so far! Thank you for reading, kudosing, commenting and bookmarking my story-it means a lot to me!


	4. Chapter Four

Rey hurried over to the table where her friends were gathered. She adjusted the halter neck of her dress as she sat down next to Rose, slinging her bag on to the back of her chair. She accepted the glass of Buck’s Fizz Kaydel was holding out to her and held it up with her friends. 

“Now we’re all present,” Poe shot Rey a mock stern glance. She shifted in her seat and grinned sheepishly. Kaydel playfully scrunched up her face at her and Rey stifled giggles. 

“We raise a glass to Rey, our beautiful artist. Our gallery which is gorgeous and selling well-” Everyone cheered. “And to ourselves, because we’re incredible and talented and I’m excited to see how we’ll grow and develop as a company and artists and friends. Cheers!”

They all clinked glasses, a chorus of cheers and sipped their drinks. Finn kissed Poe’s cheek. 

“Ew,” Kaydel mocked, whilst simultaneously kissing Jannah’s cheek. Rey smiled at her friends, happy they were happy in their relationships. Rose winked at her suggestively and she snorted into her drink. She reached out and took a croissant from the centre of the table and began to butter it as the others also dug in. 

Rose nudged her and raised an eyebrow. 

“You’re dressed up to see Ben Solo.” 

Kaydel and Jannah murmured their agreement between bites of their pain au chocolat. Rey rolled her eyes.

“No wonder he gave your gallery such a gorgeous review.” Kaydel teased. Jannah elbowed her which made her squeal. 

Rey blushed, ignoring her friends. She’d avoided all the reviews, blogs and comments online about her work, preferring to go to her nearest and dearest for their opinions and the celebratory breakfast such as this one. Yet they had all shoved his in her face, praising her and praising him. Although she was yet to read it, she felt nervous about seeing him once more. Her chest ached whenever she remembered his attack in the bathroom and ached differently when she thought of how he’d looked at her. She hoped he’d take her hand again today, the way he had yesterday.

“You look gorgeous,” Finn assured her, grinning. “Enjoy your date.”

“Not a date.” Rey picked up her bag. “and if it is, then yours-” she turned to Rose. “and Hux’s meeting was a date too considering how _you_ dressed up.” 

Kaydel and Jannah, once more, called agreement from their seats. Rey smirked at her friend. 

“We’re only discussing which pieces he wants to buy for Ben Solo!” Rose protested, blushing furiously. 

Poe raised an eyebrow and tilted his head a suggestive glint in his eye. “Suuuuuuure, Rosie.”

Rose threw a piece of croissant at him. 

“Got another date not a date soon?” Jannah asked. 

“Yes,” Rose mumbled into her food. A chorus of oooh's rose at the table and Rose hid behind her glass. Finn shushed them and laid a hand on Rose’s shoulder. 

“We’re happy for you. Get your man girl.” He turned to Rey. “You too.”

Rey rolled her eyes again and focused on her food. Her head swirled with thoughts of Ben Solo. How he’d looked at her, his gentle smile, how his voice has softened and deepened when speaking to her, how he’d assured her she wasn’t alone. Her heart skipped. _Calm down. It’s just a conversation, looking at some art, retrieve my paintings and then Ben Solo will hopefully be out of my life unless in a professional context._ The thought made tears prick at her eyes and her body slump. Rey forced herself to smile and attention to her friends and the meal in front of her and evade all thoughts of Ben Solo. 

* * *

He was waiting for her at their table, legs folded, hand tucked under his chin, a pensive expression as he looked out of the window. _He’s gorgeous._ Reys felt her heart hammering in her chest, a heat spreading between her legs. She struggled to walk in a straight line towards him. At last second, before she’d said a word, he turned and smiled at her. She smiled back, unable to stop herself

He stood and took a few steps towards her. 

“How are you?”

“Good.” She hoped he couldn’t hear her heart beating loudly. It was deafening to her. “You?”

“I’m well.” He started walking towards the exhibition desk. “How was brunch?”

“It, it was, uh, good.” Rey mentally kicked herself as she fell into step with him. Why couldn’t she speak normally? It was only Ben Solo. But she was talking to Ben Solo. _Ben._

“What are you reading?” 

She pulled her book out of her tote and flashed him the cover. “Austen. Pride and Prejudice.”

Ben smiled. “I prefer Persuasion.” 

“Really? I always thought that was was a bit far-fetched.”

“So two people who hate each other falling in love is more real than somebody waiting years for the one they love?”

“Yeah.” She laughed relaxing. “In my experience, people just leave. It doesn’t matter if they love you or not.”

Ben didn’t speak. _Ah, shit have I gone too far?_ He sighed deeply. 

“In mine, they can love you and physically be there but still pass you off to the nearest person. I like to believe that someone can love someone and wait.” 

Rey felt her heart clench. She wanted to take his hand once more, to comfort him. Instead, she lightly touched his forearm. Ben looked down at her hand and then at her. She felt heat swirl around her abdomen and lower once more. They nearly bumped into the exhibition desk. 

“Two tickets.” They spoke in unison. Rey whipped her purse out.

“No, let me.”

“No.” He manoeuvred in front of her slightly, stretching his phone out to pay. “You brought the drinks yesterday, I’ll get your ticket."

Rey scowled. “Fine.” She put her purse back into her bag. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Miss. Johnson.”

“You can call me Rey.” She offered. A shiver passed down her spine as he looked at her. He nodded.

“Rey.” Her knees almost buckled beneath her and she was glad for the desk, which she could hold on to. 

“You can call me Ben.” Ben offered back. She smiled widely and nodded. They took their tickets and began walking towards the lift.

  
Try as he might focus on the exhibition, Ben found himself fascinated with how Rey reacted to the paintings. She would carefully read each introduction panel and placard next to the paintings. Then she would gaze at them, cocking her head every which way, her nose scrunching up in thought, before smiling and turning to him to impart some fun fact or information about Titan or the brush technique he used or the time period. She sometimes pulled out her phone and took photos of the paintings, saving them in her inspiration folder which she briefly flicked through for him. 

  
He found himself gravitating towards her, brushing shoulders, or leaning over her to look at the paintings. Once or twice he pressed a hand onto her lower back to guide her out of other people's paths. He worried she’d push him away or snap at him but instead she seemed to welcome it, leaning into his touch slightly. He wanted to take her hand and nearly did but fear she’d snatch it away kept him. Their hands did meet however, when she’d pass him her phone to show him something on-screen or when he’d take a photo of her next to a painting. 

  
His heart skipped whenever this happened and his cheeks began to ache from his smiles. He longed to follow her carefree footsteps and simply be but he couldn’t. He’d always been held back and always would be. He had made his peace with this but meeting Rey had forced him to confront this. He didn’t want to spend his time in the shadow, half living, always on edge, scared of who might walk around the corner. He didn’t deserve her paintings, they were beautiful and personal and he didn’t deserve them. He resolved to give them all back as she walked beside him. _Maybe I can give her back all the paintings bar the one in my room. Maybe she’d agree to that._ He mused as they walked. He needed that one. _I’ll pitch it to her. Hopefully, she’ll take it and then be out of my life unless in a professional context._ The thought made his heart race and his breathing slow. He felt panic begin to enclose him and struggled to fight it back. 

  
The crowd surged and they were momentarily separated. Without thinking, he reached out and took her hand, guiding her towards the lift. The instant their skin made contact, the panic ceased and his breathing came easier. His heart, however, picked up speed. Once they were through the crowd, standing by the lift he realised he still had a hold of her hand. Tentatively, he gave it a small squeeze. Rey’s eyebrows shot up but she squeezed it back, her cheeks turning pink and a shy smile creeping over her face. _Don’t go._

They climbed inside the empty lift hand still clasped. Ben felt Rey’s weight shift towards him and he took a deep breath.

“Rey. I have fifteen of your paintings. I can give you back fourteen.” Ben did not look at her or move. He could feel his shirt sticking to him and his limbs felt heavy.

“Ben.” His name sounded elegant on her lips. He felt his heart leap into his mouth. He looked at her. She took a step forward. “You can keep them all.”

Without thinking, without planning, without considering the consequences, Ben dropped her hand, caressed her neck with his hands, tilted her head upwards and kissed her mouth. Fire hurtled through his body, setting every part of him ablaze. Rey’s lips instantly responded, so soft, so gentle. He felt her hands move upwards and paused. Sh _e’s about to end me._ He felt her hands lie upon his chest, her right hand over his frantic heart. Seconds stretched for hours. 

They parted and she beamed, happiness radiating off her. Ben broke out into a smile, a wide, goofy, giggly one. Rey reached for his face, laying her hand upon his cheek. She leaned forward and hesitated, her eyes travelling to his mouth. Ben waited. She leaned in and kissed him again. He curled a hand around the back of her neck, the other around her body, drawing her closer. He opened his mouth which she mimicked, deepening the kiss. He gently took her bottom lip between his teeth and bit down, scraping his teeth along the soft skin as she pulled away. He felt Rey smile against his mouth and press her body to him. 

The lift dinged, bringing them crashing back to their surroundings. They pulled apart and exited the lift. Ben automatically stretched out a hand onwards her and she took it on her own. They exited the gallery still linked and she tucked herself into him as the wind curled around them. They paused by the gallery gate, facing one another the tip of their feet touching each other. 

“Can I see you tomorrow?” Rey asked, gazing up at him with an intense glint in her eye. 

Ben smiled, squeezing her hand. “Yes of course.”

“Give me your phone.”

He handed it to her, unlocking it as he did. She tapped the screen, held the phone up and smiling. She pulled her phone out, tapped her own screen, pocketed her phone and handed his back. She smiled, stood on tiptoe and kissed him softly. 

“Cool! I’ve got your number and address, so see you at yours at six tomorrow.” With that, she unlinked and spun away from him before he could catch her. His body went cold and he stood frozen on the pavement. 

* * *

Rey flung her duvet off her body and once more shifted to find a comfortable position to sleep. She needed it desperately yet her mind would not shut up with thoughts of Ben Solo. Her thoughts turned from his words to himself. _He is handsome_. She flipped onto her stomach into a starfish position, shutting her eyes, willing herself to sleep. 

  
Ben Solo swam through her mind, the arrogant glint in his eye, his smile which brought out his cheek dimples, his thick messy hair, his hand ratio to hers, the way he’d leaned down before kissing her- Rey sat up, realising her body had subconsciously started shifting around, heat spreading through her, her chest heaving. She paused. _It would help me sleep._

She lay on her side, her hands sliding under her top to cup her breasts and twirl her nipples between her fingers tips, feeling their hardness grow. She breathed, Ben Solo’s face still in her mind. She kept one hand on her breast and nipple while the other traced down her stomach, light as a feather until she met the band of her underwear. 

She cupped a hand over the fabric, feeling the wetness. _I wish Ben’s hand was here._ She subconsciously bucked into her hand, biting back a moan. 

Frustration and longing swept through her and she sat up, pulling her underwear from her body and kicking them away before she lay back down. Her fingers went to her wetness, letting to soak her tips before moving to her throbbing clit. As she moved her fingers in soft slow circles, her thoughts returned to the kiss she and Ben had shared in the lift. His lips had been so soft yet firm upon hers. She’d feel safe in his embrace, even as his hand curled around the back of her neck. As she increased the pressure on her clit, she imagined his hand curling gently around the front of her throat and stifled another moan. His smile after their kiss, his body warmth, the way he’d stared at her the other day like he was seeing her soul, his confidence, his vulnerability; all swirled in her mind as her chest heaved, her moans and noises came freely out of her mouth and her hand moved in circles frantically. Her stomach clenched and her mind went blank, her body shuddering as her hand led her into orgasm. Ben Solo’s face appeared in her mind's eye and she cried out, bucking into her hand, wishing his face was buried there instead. 

“Oh god, fuck,” she gasped as her body came down from her high. She lay their breathing deeply, imagining her pillow to be Ben’s chest. She smiled, buried her face into the pillow, biting softly as her fingers resumed their movements. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, kudosing, bookmarking and commenting on my story; they mean so much to me!! :) <3


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: PTSD, past abuse, child abuse, anger issues, therapy.

Ben struggled to keep his leg from bouncing as he sat in the waiting room. It was empty aside from him and the receptionist, who was ignoring him. He shifted in his seat, wriggling his back against the cotton, trying to get comfortable. He could feel his underarms beginning to stain his shirt and hoped it wouldn’t be visible. 

The white door swung open and a tall, thin lady with pink hair stepped through, smiling at him. 

“Mr. Solo?”

He nodded, the lump in his throat refusing to leave. 

She smiled. “I’m Amilyn Holdo. Please come in.” She stepped aside so he could pass her. He stood for a moment, taking in his surroundings. Her office was a rectangle, with a light wooden floor and white walls. One wall was French windows overlooking the garden, which was in gentle bloom. The opposite was four brown bookcases, full of books and the odd sculpture. A desk sat in front of the bookcases and several paces away were two rose coloured armchairs, slightly angled out towards the window, with a small white and gold coffee table in-between holding a jug of water and two empty glasses. Sunlight streamed through the windows, lighting up the room joyously. Ben felt his chest loosen before taking the rose chair facing the door he had just walked through. 

He raised his hand, squinting as the sunbeams hit his face. Holdo smiled and pressed a button on the side of the wall by the door. Translucent grey blinds began to move down the windows, enough for him to move his hand but not enough so he lost the light and warmth of the sun. 

“So, Benjamin-”

“Ben.” He interjected, his shoulders already aching from the tension he carried. He leaned backward in the chair, trying to subtly stretch them out. His arms rested upon the arm of the chair, his hands circling the edge. He focused upon his feet on the floor, pressing all four pressure points into the ground, grounding himself to the here and now. 

“Okay.” She smiled, settling into her chair and leaning backward like him. “Ben, do you want to just give me a brief of why you’re here and then we can talk about how to help you?”

The lump reentered his throat. He swallowed firmly and straightened his spine, fixing his eyes upon hers. 

“I, I’ve realised some of my… techniques are… questionable and wanted to work on others.” He drew out, his jaw clenching to remain composed. Holdo nodded, still smiling. 

“And what techniques are those?” 

Ben took a deep audible breath through his mouth, his top’s collar pressing into his neck so it seemed. He felt his hands trembling against the chair and pressed them into the edge. Hold’s eyes flicked down to them and back to his.

“I tend to… throw things,” he admitted, softly.

She nodded. “Just throwing?”

Minutely, he shook his head. Holdo nodded. Ben felt his breath beginning to quicken and recited Rey's technique from the museum the other day. _One, two three, four, five, one, two, three, four, five._ Although it helped him steady himself, it did not stop his heart pounding nor the taste of his breakfast beginning rise into the back of his mouth. 

“Okay, Ben, thank you for telling me that. And what inspired you to come and talk to me today?”

“I met someone.” he couldn’t stop the smile spreading across his face as he thought of Rey. Holdo smiled in return, leaning forward slightly, encouraging him. “And she witnessed it and helped me through it in a very different way.”

“In what way?”

“A breathing technique way. As in, hold for five, out for five, hold for five and in for five.”

“Did that help?”

“Not all the time,” He admitted. “It helped then but it doesn’t help me when I feel it building.” 

“Okay.” Holdo nodded once more and smiled reassuringly at him. “So we can find something that works for you in those times.”

Ben nodded, his chest aching, his nausea still rolling around in his stomach. He felt on the verge of vomiting or fainting or both. He contemplated standing up and leaving but would have to leave his jacket. He could say he was going to the toilet and simply leave but his jacket would have to remain as there was no feasible explanation for taking his jacket to the bathroom and it had his phone and wallet and keys inside but did he really need them? He could replace the phone and wallet, freeze his cards and call a locksmith. But then he’d lose Reys number and her message she’d sent so he’d get her number and-

“Ben?”

Holdos’ voice jerked him back into the room. He shifted in his seat, exhaling, forcing himself to focus upon her.

“Yes?”

“I was just asking if you know where your anxieties stem from so we can start helping you with your coping mechanisms.”

He nodded, his throat filling up. Holdo paused, waiting. He opened his mouth to speak but his throat was restricting blocking his airway, blocking his ability to speak. His eyes were pricking with liquid. He snapped his jaw shut before he vomited and nodded again. Holdo nodded, seeming to understand. 

“Okay,” She sat backward, speaking with a low soft tone. “Ben, can you close our eyes please?”

He did, fear engulfing him. He hated closing his eyes. He couldn’t see the attack coming if his eyes were closed. He struggled to keep still, his hands wrapped firmly around the handles of the chair, his feet digging into the floor.

“I’m going to count and with each number, work up from your feet through your body and try to rid yourself of as much tension as you can, okay? One..”

As she counted, Ben worked his way up. He stopped digging his feet in and stretched out his legs, he wriggled his hips so his lower back was slanted away from the chair, his arms curved inwards, his hands releasing the edge and going slack. He pulled his shoulders down and struggled with his neck.

“Release your head forward,” She encouraged. “Thirty-two…”

He did so, letting his head hang, feeling his neck and shoulders clicking and aching as they were released from their upright pose. A soft low groan came out of him as this happened. The back of his head was pounding, pain rippling from it and along the top of his head. He wished he could lie down instead. 

“Forty-two.” She finished. “Well done, Ben.” 

He sighed in response. 

“Okay, now just think back to the first time you had a panic attack and describe it to me, in our own time.”

Bens' thoughts raced. The toilet, the hallway, the street, the car, his childhood bedroom-

“His bathroom.” Ben found himself saying, the words straining out of his mouth.

“Whose?”

Ben could feel his body beginning to tremble and fought the urge to seize the chair. 

“Snoke.” The word was a strangled sound, the tears in his eyes spilled over, hitting his thighs. 

“How old were you?”

“Fifteen.” 

“What did it feel like?”

“Drowning.” He felt light, weight crumbling from him like he was floating. He felt the tears running off his nose but made no move to stop them. 

“How did you meet Snoke?”

“He was a gardener at my Uncle’s boarding school. My parents sent me there when I was ten. They didn’t care, too busy with their political careers.” The words flowed out of him like a stream whose dam has been removed. “They left me. My uncle left me. Everybody always leaves me. I couldn’t make friends there because they thought I had special treatment from Luke.” He snorted. “Yeah, right. He didn’t notice me or acknowledge my talents or skills. Everybody would just be better off without me. And then I met hi- _Snoke_ .” He spat the name out, a metallic taste in his mouth. “Snoke saw me, he _saw_ me. Or I thought he did. Turns out nobody sees me…” His chest was heaving, his breath shallow, his tears flowing, his speech garbled and rushed. It was true, nobody cared, nobody acknowledged him. His nails dug into his palm like so many times before, gouging into the flesh, reopening old wounds. 

He needed to scream, to yell, to pick up the chair and smash the window, to hunt Snoke down and beat him to death with his bare hands, to wrap his hands around his abuser's throat and squeeze the life out of him, to watch the light fade from his eyes, to hurt him as he’d been hurt. To strike him, beat him, to crush him as he’d been crushed. Fury ripped through him like fire across gasoline. He shook, convulsing in the chair. He needed, he needed, he needed- 

_Rey._

The thought of her burst through the fire, cooling it like a wave crashing into shore. He fell back into the chair, breathing deeply, gulping in the air. 

“Rey?”

 _Oh shit, I said that out loud._ He sighed and nodded, the warmth still spreading over his body and he relaxed further into the chair. “She witnessed me and didn’t leave. She stayed. She helped me.”

“What’s Rey like?”

He smiled. “She’s… stubborn. Short-tempered, kind, fierce, strong-minded, capable, empathetic, beautiful.” He paused, rolling the words inside his mouth. “She calms me.” 

“How did you meet?”

He chuckled. 

“I have paintings of her. In my house. And when I get… stressed, I look at her and she calms me. And then I met her in person a few days ago. And she asked for them back.”

“Did you?”

“Not at first.” His smile faded. “I panicked and she helped me. And then she told me she gets them too and said I wasn’t alone. Then I tried to give her paintings back and she said I could keep them so…” He paused, unsure. 

“So?” Holdo promoted. 

“I kissed her.” He confessed, tension returning to his body. Silence engulfed the room. He wanted to look at Holdo, to gauge her reaction. He slowly lifted his head upwards, peeking at her through his eyelashes. She wasn’t in her chair, but at there desk, picking something up. He sat up, carefully arranging himself in the seat. His chest hurt from the breath he did not know he was holding yet he couldn’t release it yet. 

“Ben.” She spoke softly, maternally. The breath came out of his mouth in a rush. He fought the urge to dap at his eyes with his sleeve, Holdo held out a box of tissues to him and he took one.

“Sorry.” He muttered in to then tissues as he wiped his face. 

“Don’t ever apologise for your emotions.” She placed the box onto the table between them. “The fact you’re crying shows me there’s something inside that we need to unlock and work through. I'm sure as you're aware that your current coping mechanisms with the anger and Rey-”

He flushed and looked away, out of the window. Holdo continued regardless.

“Are not sustainable in the long term. Anger will always burn out and, as you’ve discovered, Rey is a real person with emotions and thoughts and life that you cannot project your problems on to as you have been doing.” She paused. Mutely, he nodded. He felt lighter. Holdo smiled, stood and crossed to her desk, picking up her diary and flicking through it.

“I think we should start with twice a week and then over time go down to one, yes?” She looked at him. He nodded again. “Okay, so I’ll see you again on Thursday at 11?”

“Yes.” He stood himself and held out his hand to her. She took it in her own, firm and smooth. They smiled sat one another and then he headed to the door. He paused as his hand hit the doorknob. 

“I'm seeing Rey later today, is that okay?” He turned his head to look at her. 

Holdo smiled. “Yes, Ben that’s okay. I’d recommend taking the paintings down and putting them in storage as we work on this. And to remember that your Rey is a regular person, not try to impose an image of her you may have built up in your mind onto her. If you cannot do this, then you’ll have to stop seeing her. See you on Thursday and have a lovely time tonight.”

He nodded, absorbing the information and left the room. He had to prepare for Reys' visit in seven hours. 'Your Rey' Holdo had said. He smiled. _My Rey._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled writing this chapter. Thank you to Victoria [@iIzAMusicalGeek](https://twitter.com/iIzAMusicalGeek) on twitter who helped me with this chapter!! The next will be happier, I promise :)
> 
> As ever, thank you so much for reading, kudosing, bookmarking and commenting on my story; they mean so much to me and I love reading them and responding :) <3


	6. Chapter Six

Rey closed the gallery’s shutters with a bang, padlocking it shut. She smiled at Rose, handed her the key and drew her into a hug.

“Have fun on your date.” Rose squeezed her, swaying them both side to side. 

Rey grinned, not contradicting her friend.

“Have fun on yours too!” 

Rose smiled, waved and half-skipped down the street. Rey watched and smiled after her before pulled out her phone to check the route to Ben’s house. The butterflies kicked in in her stomach as she walked down the streets, a slight spring in her step. 

Within the hour and a few tube stops later, she found herself outside of Ben Solo’s house. It was a greying white, three-storied house with little balconies outside each window, just large enough to grow plants and herbs upon. Not that he was. The black door was under a porch supported by pillars either side and a shiny gold knocker upon it. _Woah._

She approached it, her mouth dry, her palms clammy and her heart hammering. She smoothed her top and skirt down for the hundredth time and reached out and moved the knocker three times. A beeping sound erupted from the side of the door.

“Rey?” Bens' voice came from the door. 

She looked around the door, from where the noise was coming from and noticed the intercom. Looking upwards, she saw the camera. She grinned and waved as the door opened. As she stepped across the threshold, she saw Ben walking down the hall towards her. Her breath hitched as she watched him to come towards her, growing taller and wider as he did. She kicked off her shoes as he reached her and gently took her bag from her. He slung her tote on the hook above her head and her heart jumped. He looked down at her and she took a step towards him.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” He stepped towards her, bending down slightly, moving to hug her. She opened her arms in response and let herself be enveloped by him. As they held each other, a sense of tranquility washed over her. She felt safe and warm. _Alien_. She couldn’t remember a time in her life where she’d ever felt this, aside from with her friends. But even then never this deeply, this whole feeling. She smiled and went to her tiptoes, pulling him down slightly, hoping to kiss him again. Instead, he swerved slightly so her lips pressed into his cheek. He blushed slightly and embraced her again, squeezing. Rey kissed along his cheek, making her way towards his ear as she wound her herself around him in a hug that lifted her off the floor once he’d reciprocated the embrace. 

She opened her eyes and peeked over his shoulder at the wall and her jaw dropped.

“Is that a Velázquez?” She wriggled against him, urging him to put her down, so she could take a closer look. Ben smirked slightly and released her. She ran up to the painting, her fingertips reaching out but not touching the work. It was of the greek goddess Philophrosyne, wrapped in a rose-colored cloth and holding up ficus leaves, out to the viewer. Rey smiled. She’d spent a good many weeks at art school studying him and would recognise that contemporary Baroque style of Diego Velázquez anywhere.

Her brain scanned through what the goddess and ficus stood for. _Philophrosyne is welcome, friendliness and kindness and ficus is abundance and peace. Fitting._ She beamed and turned back to Ben who was standing still, observing her, a small ghost of a smile upon his face. 

“It is!” She exclaimed, barely containing her excitement. “It’s a Velázquez! Wow. I’ve only ever seen his work online or in museums but wow. You’re a lucky man Solo.” She grinned at him. Then it dawned on her. “You’ve… You’ve got _my_ paintings alongside Velázquez?” 

He blushed and looked away from her for the first time. It gave her a chance to admire him without him feeling awkward. She studied how the light-framed his face to define his cheekbones and jaw. His nose was straight and slightly large yet it worked on his face. Moles were dotted across his skin and his thick luxurious hair swept backward in a fluid motion, the ends flicking outwards at the base of his neck. He was gorgeous. She felt a longing within her, to kiss him, to hold him, to feel his skin on hers, to run her hands through his hair, to feel his teeth bite into her lips again, for him to run his hands through her hair, for him to take her to bed. It was her turn to blush and she squirmed slightly, trying to aviate the heat growing between her thighs. 

“Show me the rest of your collection?” She wandered over to him. Although they’d kissed a few times and held hands a lot, she still felt nervous about touching him. Her hand hovered by his arm, asking a question of her own. Ben shifted so they came into contact and nodded at her. 

“I have artwork in each room.” He explained as he opened the first door to her, stepping aside so she could pass.

“How many rooms?”

“Nine. It’s quite small.”

She gasped slightly. Unable to imagine that much _space_ and the fact he’d called it _small. Small?!_ She was accustomed to studio flats or one-bedroom places at a stretch. Nine rooms for one man seemed extravagant. But maybe he had a roommate or a family member he shared with? Somehow she doubted it. He was walking into the first room, holding the door open for her. She snapped out of her reverie and followed him into the living room. 

The entire house was white with dark furniture, with the odd splatter of red. A vase, a mug, his cutlery handles. His paintings, however, were all framed in gold. He had a gorgeous collection; old to new, popular to unknowns, across ages, across techniques. Rey tried to focus on the paintings but found herself watching Ben instead. His eyes would light up and he would launch into a speech about the paintings. He would move his hands and fingers in sequence to the art when speaking of its curves or edges. He’d often point or reference his bookshelves, about some book about developing the brushwork or deeper knowledge about the artist and their period. He’d take her phone from her, taping away a website or shop recommendations of each thing, promising she could borrow the books he spoke of. 

She found herself gravitating towards him, brushing shoulders, or leaning over him to look closer at the paintings. Once or twice he pressed a hand onto her lower back to guide her out the room and she leaned into his touch. She wanted to take his hand and nearly did but fear he’d snatch it away kept her. Their hands did meet however when she’d pass him her phone so he could recommend something for her. 

Her heart skipped whenever this happened and her cheeks began to ache from her smiles. She wished she had his tenacity, his ability to pay attention to the minutes of details, his kindness, his focus. She’d always been held back and always would be. She had made his peace with this but meeting Ben had forced her to confront this. She didn’t want to spend her time constantly fighting, worrying that people she loved would once again leave. She had to put her trust in them and herself that she was enough. And with Ben, she felt she was. The thought made her heart slow and her body feel light. 

They were in his hallway now, about to enter his bedroom. It scared him, she could see; his shoulders were tense, his back stooped, his forehead creased, hands trembling. She held out a hand to stop him from opening the door. 

“What?” He turned to her, concern etched into his face, bending down slightly.

Without thinking, without planning, without considering the consequences, Rey stood tiptoe, caressed his face with her hands, tilted his head downwards and kissed his mouth. Fire hurtled through her body, setting every part of her ablaze. Ben did not immediately respond but allowed her to kiss him. S _hit, shit, shit, you’re an idiot, you’re an absolute idiot._ She felt Ben’s hands rest on her waist and he returned the kiss, tender, soft. Rey smiled against his lips and pressed her body to him, heat flooding through her. Her tongue grazed his bottom lip.

Ben growled and backed her into the wall, angling his head to deepen the kiss. His mouth felt so good, she couldn’t help a small moan escaping her as she tangled her finger in his thick hair. Bens' hands were still at her waist and she tried to shift downwards, hoping he’d get the hint. When he didn’t, she sighed, took one of his hands with her own and placed it upon her breast. 

She felt him freeze. S _hit, shit, shit._ And then slowly caress her breast, squeezing and moving his thumb in circles where her nipple taut beneath the fabric. He pulled back from the kiss, resting his forehead on hers and breathing heavily.

“Would you like to see my room?” He whispered, his voice hoarse and deep. 

“Yes.” She whispered back, trying to get her breathing under control.

Ben withdrew from her and went to the door. He turned the handle and pushed it open, stepping to one side to let her enter first. She crossed over the threshold into his room. He followed and closed the door behind them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay on this chapter, I had uni work to catch up on but it's here!
> 
> So Velázquez never actually painted Philophrosyne, but he did paint the other Greek Gods and Goddess, most famously ['Apollo in the Forge of Vulcan'](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apollo_in_the_Forge_of_Vulcan) and used plants and flowers as symbolism in his work so I took a lil artistic licence there.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, kudosing, bookmarking and commenting on my story; I really appreciate them <3


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya! Hope everybody is well and safe. 
> 
> Thank you so much to [LadyReylo](https://twitter.com/LadyReyIo) for the beautiful moodboard!! She's a fantastic writer, go and check out [Almost Perfect](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22424152/chapters/53577040) and [The Blessed Unrest](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23098513/chapters/55262218) and prepare to fall in love them both.

His room was everything and nothing Rey expected. It was neutral, with white walls and a dark wooden floor with varied textures. The wall opposite the entrance door had wide french doors, opening to a little balcony facing into his garden.

The corner between the french doors and the left wall was taken up by a large black desk which was empty aside from a calligraphy set. The wall above it had several postcards upon it, jaggedly stuck upon the wall. A large double bed with silk sheets sat in the middle of the left wall, taking up most of the floor space. Two bedside tables with gold clocks and lamps sat either side of it. Above it, stuck to the wall, was a shower of blue butterflies, becoming bigger the higher they rose. 

Opposite this was a wall of nothing except a door in the far corner. The wall had marks upon it like he had had something filling that space until recently. Rey frowned slightly, cocking her head as she took it in. She felt a lump enter her throat, her stomach flipped, tears pricked her eyes. Despite all his words, his actions, Ben Solo was a liar. 

She heard the door close and felt him come behind her, his hand coming to rest upon her waist. She stepped out of his reach and swallowed hard. Her hands began to shake and she balled them into fists. Ben reached for her again, slightly hesitant of his actions. His fingers barely brushed her before she stepped away from him again. Her teeth clenched and she fought the urge to smack him away. He didn’t deserve a reaction from her. 

“Rey?”

He reached for her again, this time catching her shoulder in his hand. White-hot fury tore through her, her tears escaped and she spun around to face him. His eyes widened at her expression and he shifted backward, away from her, cowering slightly like a wounded animal. Rey wrenched her shoulder from his grip. Ben’s eyes flashed with anger and Rey felt a thrill run through her as he seized her shoulders once more, pinning her to the spot. 

“What is it?” He demanded, stepping closer to her, bending down so they were at eye level. Rey twisted and turned her face away from his, her tears burning her cheeks, her breathing audible and frantic. Ben switched from her shoulder to her face in a heartbeat, cradling her. She had to look at him. She saw hurt, confusion, worry cross his features and that made it so much worse. 

He had made her think he cared, that he thought she was beautiful, that she was worth something and instead he had hidden her paintings away, embarrassed, ashamed to have them in his house. To have her in his house. Or maybe he just told her he had them so he could have her and then leave her. As everybody did. 

Her fingers wrapped around his wrists, barely covering the circumference and yanked at him with a strength she didn’t know she had. He gritted his teeth and held on, careful not to crush her face. Rey was openly sobbing now, her eyes streaming, blind from her tears. She could see Ben trying to get closer to her and kicked at him, not caring if she made contact. 

“Get off me!” She roared. He did, immediately dropping her and she lurched forward, narrowly avoiding falling face-first onto the polished floor by Ben Solo catching her. She pushed him away and once more he backed off her immediately. Standing a few feet away, cautious, waiting for her. 

Rey stood, shaking, her teeth bared slightly. Ben stood to his full height and sighed. 

“What’s wrong?” He spoke softly, measured. 

“You’re a liar.” She snarled. 

“I never lied to you.” 

“I brought your paintings, they’re at home,” She began reciting, spitting his own words back at him. “They _speak_ to you, they _inspire_ you, they _soothe_ you, that I’m talented, that you want to see my work-”

“That's all true.” He spoke sharply, his eyes boring into hers. Rey swallowed and straightened up to match his posture. 

“Don’t.” 

“Rey, you’re the most talented, kind, capable-”

“Stop talking!” 

“Empathetic, beautiful, _stubborn_ person I know.” He continued, ignoring her, stepping towards her. 

“No.” She shook her head, failing to get her body to move away from his as he approached her, gripping her shoulders. She writhed against him but his grip on her tightened, dragging her closer to him. 

“Let go of me.” She snapped at him, glowering at him, her own hands going to his chest and pushing. He didn’t move an inch. She gritted her teeth and shoved harder. Ben shifted backward, his fingers biting into her, pulling her with him. 

“Let. Go. Of. Me.” Her voice got louder with each word, her pushes more violent. Yet he held on, gazing at her fiercely and shook his head. 

“Listen to me.” He ordered, shaking her slightly. She shook her head and kicked his shin. Ben sucked in air, hissing with pain and she felt triumphant yet her heart twisted at the sound also. Fresh tears blossomed and flowed as their struggle continued. 

Ben released his grip and she made to run past him. Instead, he caught her and lifted her in a bridal carry. Ignoring her garbled furious speech and her fists pounding on his chest, he carried her over the to the door in the corner of his room, opened it deftly with his foot and set her down. 

Rey spun in the room, looking for an alternative exit. As she did, her tension left her body and she stood in silence, riveted by the room. 

Ben worked on getting his fight instinct under control. He stilled his hands against his legs, breathing steadily for five each way and grounding his feet into the floor. He listed five things he could see; real Rey, painting Rey, his clothes, the wooden floor, the light. 

Four things he could hear; his breathing, Rey’s breathing, the shift of fabric as she brushed his clothes aside, the faint scratch her of fingertips on the canvas. 

Three things he could smell; Rey's perfume of peonies and roses, wood polish, his aftershave. 

Two things he could taste; blood from biting this tongue and mint from his toothpaste. 

One thing he could touch; the door behind him. 

He focused back on the room where Rey was sitting on the floor, surrounded by rails of his clothes and her paintings she had done all those years ago. Her eyes were glistening and her body was soft, slow, calm. Ben smiled and his heart swelled in his chest. Pure unadulterated joy filled him, wrapping him like a blanket is a safety and warmth as he watched her. An alien emotion was mixed in, encompassing him. It was like how the first rays of warm sunshine felt on bare skin after a snowy winter; enlivening, emboldening, enlightening him. 

Rey turned to him and inhaled sharply as she caught sight of his expression on his face. Her eyes were wide and filled with shock and confusion. He watched as they softened and glistened. She stretched her hand up to him. 

Ben sat next to her on the floor, crossed legged, and took her hand in his. He marvelled how small and delicate it was. He raised it to his lips and kissed her knuckles. 

“I’m sorry.” Her face crumpled as she spoke, her voice trembling. She wiped her tears away with her spare hand. “I’m sorry, Ben.”

“Rey.” He held his arms open and she crawled into them, hugging against his chest. He wrapped both arms around her and rocked her like a baby as she cried. He felt a surge of affection and kissed her head, squeezing her. He wanted to take all her pain away, all her troubles and bad memories. to carry them for her so she could only be happy and safe. Yet the world did not work like that, he knew; he could only support her through the hard times. To carry them _with_ her. 

Gradually, she calmed and her cries became sniffles. Her fingers wound into his shirt, holding it, rubbing it between her fingers. 

“I moved them because I was using them as a coping mechanism and it wasn’t healthy.” He murmured against her hair. “You’re real, Rey, and I didn’t want to put that on you. You have enough without me complicating things for you. But know I'll always be here for you, to support you in whatever you decide. I'm not leaving. You'll never be alone, not while I'm around.”

Rey looked upwards and cupped his face with her hand. She stretched upwards and kissed his mouth. He could taste the salt of her tears. He let go of his embrace as she shifted so she was sat facing him, her legs encasing his waist. She wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in. Her hands were on his cheeks, in his hair, her mouth on his. Her kiss became more urgent. 

Ben’s hands skimmed the skin on her lower back under her top. Rey tugged her top upwards, inviting him to slid his hand under, which he did. His hand moved up her back, around her rib cage coming to rest on her bra. Her skin was soft and warm. Rey moaned and rocked against him. Ben slid his hand under her bra, his thumb rubbing over her hard nipple. 

He could feel himself hardening and shifted in case Rey was uncomfortable, trying to angle it away from her. Instead, she ground down onto him, biting his lower lip. He mimicked her actions as he pinched her nipple causing her to cry out. 

“Ben,” she whispered. “Please, please.”

“I’ve got protection in my nightstand-”

“I’m on the pill and I’m clean. And I’m not seeing anybody else.” She leaned away slightly, shying away from him, blushing. Ben smiled at her. 

“Just you.” He kissed her forehead. “I’m clean too.”

Rey smiled and kissed him, passion flooding through him. Their kisses grow messy as their teeth and tongues clashed together. Rey’s hands fumbled at his belt and trousers as Ben’s pulled her top over her head, pulling the cups of her bra down, not bothering to unhook it. His mouth closed around her nipple, his hand on the other, as she moaned and squirmed against him. Ben felt the air hit him as she pulled his cock from his clothes, her hand closing around it. He moaned as her hand began moving up and down his length, tightening and loosening her grip, twisting her hand around him.

Rey fiddled with her skirt and panties for a moment and then she was sitting on him, wet and warm, moaning as she sank on to him. Ben growled as she did and kissed her. 

Their movements became a frenzy of flesh upon flesh, yanking at clothing that restricted them, littering each other with hot kisses. Rey pulled at his hair, he pulls at hers. She’s writhed in his lap, rocking, bouncing, her cunt clenched on his cock, their rhythms in sync. She moaned and swore and called out his name, as did he, her name soft and furious upon his lips. He left hickey and bite marks on her shoulders and breasts at her request, she raked her nails down his back at his. As her lips and arms and legs and cunt welcomed him, clung to him, he was near delirium. That after years of seeing her naked on canvas, she’s here. He can smell her floral perfume, taste her sweet on his tongue when he runs it over her body, feel her naked skin on his, burning him. 

That, for this one moment in time, she’s his. 

They lay wound together on the floor afterward, their chests heaving. Ben kissed Rey’s forehead as she snuggled closer to him. Steadily, their breath evens out. Rey lazily rolled half on top of him, her exposed breasts against his chest and she kissed him softly, smiling against his lips. 

“Dinner, film, bed?” Ben asked, watching as she basked in the post-orgasm glow. _She like sunlight on a summer day._ She beamed at him and nodded. They stood, Rey grabbed a t-shirt of his off the rack, slipping it on. Bens' breath stopped momentarily in his chest. 

“I don’t deserve you.” His chest ached. _It’s true. It’s true. It’s true. She’s happiness and sunshine and warmth and I’m not._ Rey put her hands around his neck, her expression filled with determination, her fingers gripped his hair at the base of his skull. 

“We deserve each other.” Her gaze pierced him and he swallowed. He nodded and her grip relaxed, her face enveloped with joy and she stood on tiptoe to press her gorgeous mouth to his once more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, kudos, bookmarks and commenting on my story!! They honestly keep me going and smiling right now <3


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: sex, face-fucking, choking, dom/sub, spanking, praise kink, small size kink- this chapter is all smut so if any of that makes you uncomfortable, please skip this chapter!

“Okay... Now you flip it.”

Rey jerked the frying pan as Ben had taught her and the pancake flew up and landed in the pan. She screamed, raising her spare hand into the air and turned to him, grinning. 

“I did it!” She jumped, the pan nearly falling from her grasp and then hastily put the pan back on the stove so as not to lose her first victory. Ben scooped her up into a kiss. Rey felt her feet leave the ground and smiled, wrapping herself around him like a koala. When Ben tried to put her down, she shook her head, nuzzling into his neck and tightening her embrace. 

“Sweetheart, the pancakes.” He scolded her delicately, his hands wrapping around her hips and lifting her from his body easily despite how she held on. She pouted and he kissed her forehead. “Go and sit at the table.” 

Rey did as he asked, resting ether head in her hands and watching him as he moved. He was so graceful, eloquent despite his height and breadth. He smiled quizzically at her as he slid into his chair and she took his hand in hers and kissed his palm. 

They ate in silence, Ben reading his newspaper and Rey answering emails on her phone, their feet always touching under the table, occasionally glancing at one another, exchanging smiles. 

“Do you have the gallery today?”

Rey looked at the clock on the wall. “I have some time.”

Ben smirked and kissed her, opened mouthed, his tongue darting out which she welcomed, entangling her hands in his soft locks. Wordlessly, Ben stood and took her hand, leading her into the sitting room. He pulled her onto his lap, kissing her once more. His hands wrapped around her face and he bit into her bottom lip, pulling at it, before letting go and then kissing her once more. 

Rey wrapped her arms around his neck, stroking his soft, thick hair, pulling it gently. She pulled his face backward so he was looking at the ceiling and pressed her lips to his neck, smirking as he gasped. Her tongue traced his veins, enjoying as he squirmed. Bens hands came to her breasts, squeezing, his thumbs rubbing over her nipples through the fabric. Rey went to a sensitive spot just under his ear and sucked, biting softly. Ben pinched her nipples and she moaned softly. She could feel his erection growing and rocked her hips against his, feeling the heat spread between her legs as he hardened against her.

Her movements became faster, her mouth more insistent. Ben groaned, his mouth next to her ear. She loved hearing it, hearing him gently lose control.

“Rey,” he strained, his hands grasping at the hem of her shirt, tugging it. “Oh god, I want you.”

Rey moved her lips to his ear. “Come and take me then.” 

Ben wrapped an arm around her back, pulling her in, stood and spun them around so she was lying upon the sofa. He released her and gazed down at her, his eyes roaming over her, hunger in them. Like he was a drowning man and she was oxygen. Reys’ breathe hitched in her throat. Her heart was thumping in her chest, her cunt was aching, her stomach in knots, her palms were sweating. 

“Ben,” she whispered. “Please.” 

Ben got onto his knees and his hands rested on the waistband of her panties. He cocked his head slightly and she nodded, raising her hips so he could slide them from her body. Rey's chest was heaving and she looked at him as he looked at her. There was a hunger in his expression and something like awe but Rey pushed this aside, nobody would look at her with that. Ben’s eyes met hers and he came towards her and kissed her forehead, his lips lingering on her skin. 

His lips brushed down her face; her eyelids, her nose, her cheeks, her lips. He rubbed his nose against hers making her giggle. His hands were resting upon her thighs and slid upwards towards her centre as his lips met hers. Rey couldn’t breathe, all her senses were focused upon his hand moving up her thigh. His fingertips brushed her cunt and she jolted. Ben chuckled and kissed her jaw, moving to her neck as his thumb began to circle her clit. Rey's legs began to shake as Ben increased the pressure with his thumb, his fingertips brushing her entrance, his mouth hot against her throat. 

“Ben, please, _please,”_

“What do you want?” He murmured against her skin, nipping softly.

Rey tugged at his hair. “I, I want you.”

“More specific please, love.”

Rey growled, shifting towards him, aching. “I want your fingers and your tongue to fuck me. Please.” 

She felt Ben slid a finger inside of her as he bit her shoulder and she sighed, rocking against him. His mouth skimmed over her shirt as he slid another finger inside of her, curling it, moving in time with her movements. Rey moaned and wrapped her hands within his hair. She felt his hot breath on her thighs and cried out, pulling him closer. She heard him chuckle before his tongue licked her clit. 

As his tongue and fingers sped up, Rey could feel her body shaking. Her mind was blank, solely focused upon the pleasure she was experiencing. Her stomach knotted and she bucked into him. She felt Ben’s hand leave her and whined. He placed it upon her abdomen, holding her down as his tongue slid inside of her, licking from the base to her clit, flicking it, sucking softly. 

“Fuck, Ben, please, oh god, Ben.” She was babbling, struggling for breath, as her pleasure growed. Her body shook and she was vaguely aware of Ben shaking and panting as well before her orgasm crashed around her. 

As she floated back to her body, Rey blinked and noticed Ben fiddling with his boxers, wiped his hands frantically on them. She cocked her head as he breathed heavily, swearing softly. He glanced at her and went the colour of beetroot, hiding his hand behind his body. Rey leaned forward and wrapped her hands around his neck, holding him in place.

“Did you…?”

He flushed even darker and looked away. Rey tucked a hand under his chin and brought his eyes back to hers, smirking slightly. She leaned forwards and kissed his mouth softly and then rested her forehead upon his. 

“I take it as a compliment.” 

Ben let go of the breath he was holding and pulled her into a hug, snuggling his face into his neck. He kissed her neck, her collarbones, her chest. His fingers deftly undoing the buttons of her borrowed shirt as his lips moved downwards. Rey moaned as his hot mouth closed over her nipple. His tongue swirled over her nipple, making her gasp, his other hand encompassing her other breast. Rey rocked her hips against his, rubbing against him, feeling him beginning to tense again. Her hands ran over his back, enjoying the sensation of his smooth skin, the muscles rippling under her hands. She scraped her nails along his back and he hissed, biting her nipple. 

She pushed him off of her, her nipple leaving his mouth with a pop and spun them around. As she lowered on to the knees, her hands went to the waistband of his boxers, her eyes meeting his. He nodded and raised his hips, letting her pull them and his boxers from his body. Her eyes fell on his cock, tall, thick, veins popping. She leaned forwards and kissed the tip, giggling as Ben growled. 

Her tongue slid from the base to the top, swirling over the tip, enjoying as Ben sighed and wound a hand in her hair. Her mouth closed of the tip, the tongue rubbing underneath as she descended his cock, feeling it harden within her mouth. She moaned as he did, vibrating against his cock. Bens fingers gripped her hair.

“Fuck,” he swore under this breath, making Rey smirk, as best she could, and relaxed her throat as she neared the base. 

“Rey,” Ben groaned, shifting his hips upwards so he was fully in her mouth. Rey breathed deeply through her nose, gagging slightly. She looked up at Ben who had his eyes shut, a look of bliss upon his features. Rey smiled, beginning to bob her head, her tongue swirling around his length, sucking in her cheeks. She wrapped a hand at the bottom of his length and moved it in times with her mouth, twisting it and varying her pressure. Ben moaned and Rey placed her other hand upon his cock as well, moving them in tandem, her tongue swirling around the tip. 

Bens' hand tightened in her hair and pulled her upwards, off of him. She gasped, a trail of spit still connecting her mouth to his cock. Bens' eyes were dark and glinting. Rey felt a thrill run through her. 

“Let go.” His voice was calm and low. Rey released her grip upon him. Ben smiled. “Hold your hands behind your back.”

Rey did, her sweating palms pressed together. Her chest was heaving, her body glistening, she was squirming with anticipation. Ben's eyes roamed her body and she felt heat rushing over her as she sat exposed to him. He smiled.

“Open your mouth, Rey.”

She did and let him bend her forward and put his entire length in her mouth. _He's so big. God, I love it._ He went slowly, allowing her to swallow and adjust to his thickness and length. When her lips touched his pubic hair, she glanced up at him to see him closing his eyes. She flicked her tongue against his cock and he groaned. 

“Good girl.”

Rey moaned as he spoke, relishing in his words. She wriggled, trying to create some friction for herself. She could feel herself dripping down her thighs. Ben smirked, knowingly at her and began to move his hips, slowly so she could get used to it. His hand entangled in her hair gently moved in time to his thrusting.

“Keep one hand behind your back and hold the other one out.” He ordered and she obeyed. "Well done."

Rey moaned and ran her tongue along him, grounding into her legs, aching. Ben wrapped his fingers into her free hand, squeezing it softly. Rey glanced upwards and tried to convey her smile. As he smiled back, she assumed he had got it. 

Rey ran her tongue along his length, moving her head independently, willing him to go faster. She wanted him to lose control as he had done. She loved seeing that side to him, the slightly bossy side, the untamed side, the I need to have you side. She scraped her teeth against him lightly, listening to him hiss. His hand clenched in her hair and she smiled, opening her mouth wider as he began to move his hips, groaning at her wetness. 

Rey gagged softly as he pushed his full length inside her mouth. She felt Ben pause and squeezed his hand to let him know she was okay, she wanted this. He squeezed back and moved forward plunging deep into her mouth, moving back to it was simply the tip, moaning as her tongue swirled around it before thrusting back in, his hand gripping her hair, pushing her head closer to him. 

“Shit,” he said, barely audible. “God, Rey, yes, good girl, ah, fuck.”

Ben pulled out of her mouth and released her hair. His hand around hers tightened and he pulled her up, his mouth descending to meet hers. His mouth was hot and urgent, his tongue delving deep within her mouth. Rye legs shook and she felt herself being pressed into the sofa. She could feel Ben leaning over her but trying not to fall on top. She rolled her eyes and wrapped her arms and legs around him, pulling him down. She felt his cock brush her cunt and shift her angle, sighing as he slid in. 

They both stilled, holding one another. 

Softly Ben began to move, sliding until it was just his tip and then thrusting in, ever so slowly to his full length. Rey shifted her hips in time with his, leaning upwards to kiss his mouth. He tasted of golden syrup and she smiled, clenching her walls around his cock, enjoying his growls as she did. Ben's lips moved to her neck, sucking on the skin and biting softy. 

“Ben,” she whispered, arching into him. “Faster.”

He obliged. He thrust into her, biting down on her neck simultaneously so she cried out. Ben placed his hands upon the armrest of the sofa as he slid out of her slowly and then slammed into her. Rey squirmed, moans flowing from her. Ben tucked a hand under her chin and brought her eyes to his. 

“Is this what you wanted?” 

Rey nodded, breathless as he picked up speed, and Ben smirked and leaned backward, resting on his knees. He brushed her lips with his thumb, popping it inside as she opened her mouth. Rey swirled her tongue around it, watching as his eyes darkened. 

‘Fuck, Rey.” He pulled it out and placed it on her clit, rubbing in gentle, slow circles. Rey whined and wiggled her hips, urging him to go faster.

Ben took her hands in his and placed them over her breasts. When she didn’t immediately respond he slowed to almost a stop. Rey cupped her breasts, squeezing them and twisting her nipple as his thumb returned to her clit, moving faster, increasing the pressure. Her eyes flickered shut. His hips also gained speed, his cock pushing into her, filling her, stretching her. She could hear Ben groaning and cursing, his other hand entangling itself in her hair, tugging slightly. She could feel it building within her, her body began to shake and her chest heaved. 

“Please, Ben, _please-”_

Her words died in her throat as she shuddered and came around his cock. She cried out, pleasure enveloping her as she writhed against the sofa. She turned her head and bit into the pillow. Rey felt Ben still, his hand moving from her clit to wrap around her jaw and pull her face away from the pillow. She gazed up at him, breathless, exposed. 

“I want to hear each word, each noise that comes out of that pretty mouth of yours.” As he spoke, he thrust into her, making her yelp. “Understand?”

“Yes.” She nodded. He smiled and kissed her. His mouth warm, firm, inviting. His hand loosened and began to move down to her throat, resting there lightly. Rey wrapped a hand around his wrist and pushed it slightly. Ben‘s hand curled around her throat, not squeezing but simply resting there. Rey moaned as he did, bucking her hip into his. His other hand was on the arm of the sofa. 

“Put your legs on my shoulders.” He ordered and she did, shifting to get the angle. They both cried out as he thrust into her.

“God, Rey, fuck,” Ben muttered as he moved, grinding into her. Rey smirked and moved her hips in a circle, making Ben growl. “You’re such a tease.”

“Only for you.” She clenched her walls, watching him squirm and splutter. Ben’s hand tightened briefly around her throat and she moaned and bucked into him, meeting him halfway as he began to thrust into her once more.

“Touch yourself.” He ordered, his eyes piercing into her. Obediently, her hand moved to her aching clit, rubbing up and down. Bens' eyes left hers to watch her fingers and himself going in and out of her. As his movements became faster and harder so did her fingers, her other hand running up and down his chest, skimming over his muscles. 

“I want you to cum on my cock.” Ben’s eyes met hers once more. 

“I want you to cum inside me.” She responded, pulling her legs away from him. Ben breathed heavily but made no move to stop her as she turned around, leaning against the armrest. She felt Ben’s hands close around her hips and wriggled slightly, giggling. Ben laughed, leaning over to kiss down her back. 

“Ben,” she whined. He smiled against her skin, nipping her slightly, his hand sliding underneath her to her aching cunt and rubbing against her clit. She moaned and pressed herself against him, cursing at his delicate movements. 

“Ben Solo, you better fuck me right now.” She snarled. Ben spanked her ass, making her gasp and thrust into her. Rey moaned, resting her forehead against the sofa rest as he began to move, pounding her. She stretched her hands behind her and Ben released one of his hands to wrap around both of hers. 

“Jesus, fuck, you’re so big,” Rey mumbled into the rest. Ben chuckled and squeezed her hands. “Please, Ben, cum in me, please, faster, please, Ben.”

Ben’s movements became faster, wilder. He released her hands and pushed them away, gripping on to her waist. Rey's hand went to her clit, rubbing it, rocking her hips in time with Ben. She bit on to the sofa and felt Ben pull her hair, her face leaving their arm. 

“Every noise, remember?” He growled and she nodded, panting, groaning. Ben tugged on her hair, making her head turn so she could see him. Their eyes met and Ben sucked in his breath. Rey blushed, sure she looked flushed and sweaty, her mouth open, her moans coming freely. Ben grunted, his body beginning to shake, his cock twitching inside of her. Rey forced herself to keep her eyes open as her fingers rubbed her clit, her orgasm building once more. Her legs were trembling, her chest was tight, her stomach clenched and she shut her eyes as pleasure consumed her, crying out. She heard Ben’s moan and felt him release inside of her, hot liquid trickling down her thighs. 

She collapsed down onto the sofa and Ben followed suit, crushing her slightly. He propped up for a second, allowing her to wriggle around so she was facing him and then he snuggled up to her. His head resting on her chest, his hand laying over her breast, pulling her legs around him. Rey stoked his hair as their breathing returned to normal, feeling his cum drip down her thighs. 

Ben propped his head up and kissed her mouth. She smiled against his lips and kissed him back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading my story!
> 
> Please leave me a comment or a give a quick kudos. I love hearing what you think of each chapter and they mean the absolute world to me <3 
> 
> Come say hi to me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/kylosgal)


	9. Chapter Nine

Ben squeezed Rey’s hand in his own and Rey squeezed back as they stepped into her gallery. It was the first time Ben had been back since the first night and it was as beautiful as he remembered. Some of her work now carried ‘SOLD’ signs which he had expected. However, the majority were on the walls with no signs. He frowned slightly and turned to Rey, opening his mouth to berate this.

“They’ve been made into copies for distribution,” a male voice interrupted them. A handsome man with wavy black hair and a soft smirk on his face held out his hand to Ben. Ben took it in his own, matching his grasp to the man's firm one. “Poe Dameron.”

“Ben Solo.”

“I know.” Poe’s eyes looked Ben up and down before pulling Rey into a hug. He whispered something in her ear which made her snort and blush, pushing him off her and smacking him playfully. Poe smirked.

“Is everyone else here?”

“Kaydel and Jannah aren’t able to come but me, Finn, Rose, and Hux are here and ready.”

Rey smiled and leaned into Ben, her back pressed against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head, breathing in her floral scent, as Poe rounded up their friends. Ben shook hands with Finn and was pulled into a hug by Rose. He froze for a second when she did, his arms dangling by his sides. As he gently wrapped his arms around her he saw Rey beaming at them. 

Ben kept hold of Rey’s hand as they headed to the restaurant, his shirt sticking to him slightly, his heart thumping in his chest. He focused upon his feet meeting the ground; heel, base, tip, heel, base, tip, heel, base, tip until he was seated in the restaurant. He smiled as she chatted with her friends, listening to their conversations but not initiating them for himself. 

He tried to stop his leg from jiggling as he picked up a menu, blindly reading it. He took a deep breath and grounded himself, as Holdo had talked him through. Serenity washed over him and his leg stilled.

reyplucked the menu from his hands and placed it on the table in front of them both, leaning into him slightly. 

“You’re such an only child.” She teased, squeezing his leg. Ben smiled. He watched as she read the menu, a crease forming in her brow as she concentrated.

“Are we starter main or main dessert or all three?” Finn propositioned the table. 

“Starter main.” Rose chimed, Hux nodding. Poe made a face.

“No, main, dessert.”

“I wouldn’t mind all three.” Rey quipped up to a round of teasing and nudged from her friends. They looked at Ben. He swallowed.

“All three.” 

Hux rolled his eyes as Rey half raised her arms in the air, doing a little dance in her seat, swaying her body and arms, clicking her fingers along to an imagined rhythm. 

“Hang on-“ Poe, waved a hand at Rey who stopped dancing and started pouting, jutting her bottom lip out and crumpling her face. _Adorable._ “Finn hasn’t chosen.”

Finn raised an eyebrow. “And what will I choose?”

“All three.” Poe sighed, hanging his head. Rey whooped and leaned over to high five Finn. Finn then extended his hand to Ben who, after feeling Rey nudge him slightly, leaned forward and slapped his hand against Finns. Finn grinned at him and Ben smiled back, relaxing into his chair. 

The waiter came over, scribbling away on his notepad as they ordered their starters and mains simultaneously. A bottle of wine arrived for the table and Ben snatched it up before someone else could claim it and divided it equally between the seven of them until it was empty. 

“So, Solo,” Poe began, sipping on the red liquid. “When did you start collecting art?”

“Unofficially? Since my teens. Properly since my twenties.” 

“Unofficially?” Rose echoed, cocking her head. Hux snorted slightly. 

“He means his parents had some art they gave to him as they needed space for other stuff.” 

“Hand on,” Finn leaned forward, frowning slightly. “Your name’s Solo right? Is that, are you related to the Solos? Who runs Resistance Art? With Luke Skywalker?” 

Ben could feel their gazes, his collar pressing into hisnbeck, he loosened his tie as he nodded. Poe whistled as he settled back into his chair. Finn’s jaw was slack. Rose coughed into her wine and Hux patted her back. Rey stared at him, her glass frozen on its way to her lips.

“Sorry I didn’t tell you before,” he whispered, his eyes flittering over her face, trying to read her. She was blank. He felt heat rising. “I just, sometimes people only want to know me for my connections and I wanted to branch out on my own and-”

His explanation was cut off by her kiss. He heard a chorus of OOooooos from the table but paid them no heed as his hand cupped her face. 

“I don’t care if you’re a Solo or a Skywalker or a Smyth. You’re talented and intelligent and amazing and I love you.” Rey whispered back, blushing furiously. Ben felt his chest expanding. His skin prickled, as it had done when he’d watched her sitting in his closet, looking at her work. It filled him, enlivening, emboldening, enlightening him. Except now he had a name for it. He smiled at her and kissed her soft mouth.

“I love you too.” 

Ben felt a napkin hit his shoulder.

“Enough,” Hux’s hand hit the table. “Enough soppiness, some of us are trying to eat, Solo.” 

Ben raised an eyebrow and looked pointedly at Hux and Roses’s hand intertwined upon the table. Hux shrugged. 

“Touche.” 

Their food arrived and they all fell into easy conversation, speaking of everything and nothing. Rey often held her fork out to Ben for him to try her food and speared pieces of his meal off his plate to eat for herself. Each time Ben pushed his plate closer to her, encouraging her to try certain pieces or flavours together.

“You’re telling me,” Poe pointed his fork at Ben. “You don’t like Cezanne because ‘it’s a bunch of splurges’?” He used his hands as quotation marks. Ben chuckled and nodded. 

“Yes, I don’t criticism him for changing the landscape and introducing new techniques but his work pales next to those in a renaissance period.” 

“What about Monet?” Finn challenged, spearing asparagus onto his fork. 

Ben wrinkled his nose. “He’s okay.”

“ _Okay?”_ Finn’s fork froze on its journey to his mouth. “Dude. He’s the greatest painter of that century.”

Ben shook his head, putting his forkful of salmon into his mouth. Finn and Poe were staring at him, flabbergast. Ben fought off a laugh and shrugged instead. 

“But everyone before him all painted the same.” Poe argued, pointing his knife at Ben as he spoke. Ben straightening his seat and swallowed.

“The same?” He scoffed. “Go to a museum and look at their work and then tell me they’re the same, Dameron.” 

“Yeah, sure, I’ll go spend an afternoon looking at the same painting of Perseus and the nobility of man and brushwork-”

“I think all styles have merit.” Rose chimed in. Ben nodded at her, smiling softly. She winked at him. Ben turned back to Poe, leaning back in his chair, his arm flung over the back of Reys, who snuggled into him.

“There are three main painting mediums for the renaissance,” Ben began. “Fresco, egg tempera, and oil painting.”

“Egg tempera.” Rey and Finn laughed at that. So much that Poe and Ben cracked a smile at their partners' glee, sharing an eye-roll. A brief truce.

“He’s got a point, Poe,” Rose said. Poe whipped his head to her, his mouth slightly open. Ben chuckled. “The impressionists only have one, oil paint.”

“But it was used in a myriad of ways whereas the renaissance-” Poe argued before being interrupted by Hux.

“I like abstract expressionism. They truly broke boundaries by using non-traditional materials and moving the canvas from the easel to the floor. Nowadays, that's a sort of common practice. How do you paint Rey?”

Rey swallowed. “A bit of both. It depends on what I’m painting but I tend to prefer the easel.” She peeked up at Ben and winked at him surreptitiously. “And I prefer the renaissance style.”

Poe groaned melodramatically and hung his head as Finn rubbed a hand on his back, struggling to keep his smirk off his face. Ben grinned at Rey and kissed the top of her head. 

Dessert passed without incident and Ben made sure he paid for the meal, despite their protests and trying to push money into his hands. Rey kissing his cheek and whispering her thanks was all he needed. 

The seve parted for the evening. Ben froze whenever one of them pulled him into a hug before returning it. The easy affection was still a stranger to him. One he hoped to become closer with over time.

“You’ll come to my mother's next opening.” He promised Poe who grinned and punched the air. “You have similar artistic tastes, you’ll get along.” 

“Alright! Thank you, Solo.”

He and Rey fell into step together, their hands linked as they strolled the streets, journeying back to his. The evening breeze played with her hair no matter how she tucked it behind her ears. The orange glow of the setting sun brought out her freckles and her eyes glittered. Bens' breath caught in his throat when he looked at her. She loved him. He was loved. He was accepted and cared for and belonged to her. She’d seen him at his worst and helped him unconditionally. She showed him her worst and he had only felt protective of her in that instance.

They didn’t need each other but they wanted each other. 

It was her. It would always be her. It would be Rey, in a thousand cities, a thousand lands, in the places they would go together, the thing they had not yet seen, across space and time, heaven and hell. It would be her.

Rey glanced up at him. “You okay? You look… flushed.”

“I’m the most happy.” He kissed her lips, not caring at the stares they received upon the underground. Rey smiled against his lips and fell into him as the tube lurched to a stop. 

“Then so am I.”

As soon as she had kicked off her shoes in the hallway, Rey started up the staircase, calling after him to follow her. He did and found her in his closet, tugging at her paintings. Ben ran over and stilled her hands, staring at her. She smiled at him, her face full of affection.

“I want to hang my paintings back up on your wall. I understand-” She pressed three fingers to his lips as he opened his mouth to protest. “Why you took it down but I trust you to know the difference. Now, which one is your favourite?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so, so much for reading my story!
> 
> I love hearing what you think of each chapter so please consider leaving me a comment or a quick kudos. Each one means the absolute world to me <3


	10. Chapter Ten

**Two Years Later**

Rey tucked her sunglasses on to the top of her head as she stepped into the shade of the Musee d’Orsay in Paris. She went and stood with her back again the wall, a smile breaking over her face as Ben pointed his camera at her. 

He crossed over into the shadow and she met him halfway, tucking under his arm as he looked at the building. 

“You’re ambiguously modern, did you know?”

“I do now.” 

The doorway had two banners; upon the left was a red one sporting the museums' initials of M and O in white letters and on the right was Rey’s painting alongside her name and the words ‘Ambiguously Modern’, with ticket prices, dates and times along the bottom. It had taken her two years to move from a tiny studio gallery in London to one of the most famous art galleries in the world. Rey felt tears prick her eyes as she gazed at it. Ben hugged her close.

“Proud of you.” He kissed the top of her head.

“Me too.” She breathed, tears trickling down her face. Her work was being displayed alongside countless great works by masters of early modern and impressionist art, including Matisse, Monet, Degas, Van Gogh, and Rodin. 

“Musee d'Orsay this year and Louvre the next.” Ben beamed at her, wiping away her tears with his thumb. “Look at you, already taking over the art capital of the world.”

“I thought that was Italy?”

Ben snorted slightly. “No. Vienna is widely considered the City of Music due to its musical legacy but Paris is the capital of art. And love.” His eyes glinted and he tucked a hand under her chin, tilting her face upwards to kiss her mouth. Rey giggled and placed her hands upon his chest, leaning into him as their kiss deepened. 

A woman tutted. “Sortir du chemin!” 

Ben released Rey and turned to the lady. “Désolé, madame.”

Rey didn’t understand either of them and merely smiled in what she hoped was an apologetic neat her. The lady smiled at Ben, sniffed at Rey, walking past them into the museum, muttering: 

“Touristes sanglants. Pourquoi ne peuvent-ils pas s'embrasser ailleurs. Pour l'amour de Dieu!” 

Ben pulled Rey away, shaking with laughter. Once they were around the corner, his laughter escaped his mouth, causing Rey to join in.

“She was going to see your artwork.” Ben managed to get out, pulling her close. Rey smiled at him. Ben slowly stopped laughing and kissed her again. She’d never tire of kissing him. 

She felt her back press against the wall of the museum, Ben biting softly at her lip. She moaned softly, opening her mouth for him. She felt Ben’s hands slid from her waist to his stomach and creep upwards until they softly cupped her breasts. She pushed him away, giggling.

“Not here!” She reprimanded him. He simply smirked in response, took her hand, and pulled her back into the sunshine. The sun glittered upon the river seine as they crossed the footbridge, headed towards jardin de tuileries. The Musee de l’Orangerie lay to their left, looking more like a temple from Athens than a museum in France, it seemed to Rey but she longed to go inside. After years of hearing about and seeing the paintings online, she was here, about to see them in person. But knowing how Ben felt about the impressionist movement she doubted he’d head there. She’d have to sneak away from him. Or return at a later date. 

So as Ben steered them left towards the Musee de l’Orangerie, Rey felt her breath leave her body. Her eyebrows shot up and she looked at Ben. He winked at her, ushering her through the front doors. 

Sunlight poured through the windows on either side of the entrance hall, the panes creating a criss-cross pattern upon the white wall beyond the ticket desk. Ben walked her straight past the barrier, nodding at the guards and speaking to them. Rey shot them a smile which they returned. 

A bridge was now presented before them, leading into a dark corridor, with stairs leading down on either side. Rey felt Ben’s hand upon her back, leading her to the mini bridge and she followed his lead, t through the dark corridor to a white corridor with a white archway at the end. Her breath caught in her throat. 

She had seen this archway upon her phone screen countless times and now she was about to cross its threshold. Tears threatened but she blinked them away, wanting to see every moment of this. 

She walked forward and entered Monet’s History of the Water Lilies cycle room. 

The room was a large white oval with four arches leading to other areas of the museum. The middle of the floor helped two grey benches, stretching out. Upon each curve of the wall, was Monet’s water lilies. Tranquility lay over the room, a silence, a peace. It hit Rey, filling her so she felt like she was floating. A moment of compassion and understanding, of pure happiness. She felt Ben’s hand leave her body but it did not scare her as it had done in the past. She knew he was there. He always was and always would be. 

Her feet carried her to the first painting, spring, and she choked back her tears. She followed the room in its oval, gazing at each painting in its splendour. Upon reaching winter, she heard a cough and turned to the centre of the room where Ben was.

He was on one knee holding a little box.

Reys breath left her body. She seemed to float over to him as he gazed up at her, smiling. Her hands shook and her knees trembled. 

“Rey,” he began, his voice deep and rich. “I love you. I know you’ve struggled in life and you come from nothing. You're nothing. But not to me... No, wait, shit, that's not what I mean.”

He paused, his eyes glistening over, searching for the words. Rey gigged and smiled for him to continue. He blinked, swallowed, and did, speaking quickly. 

“I want to go to sleep with you every night and wake up next to you. I want to help carry your art supplies and massage your neck when you're tired and hold your hand and share food with you and have you plait my hair and explore everything with you and fuck you-”

Rey laughed and Ben blushed but continued nonetheless.

“I’ve always felt lost but I know I’m safe with you and I'll always tell you the worst of me but give you the best of me because you don't deserve any less. You’re my ray of sunshine. “ He teased, he is speech slowing. His hands were steady as he opened the box to reveal a ring. 

“Marry me, Rey. Because no matter where you go or what you do, you’re not alone.”

“Neither are you.” She whispered. Ben’s eyes glistened and her tears spilled from her eyes. He took the ring from the box and slid it onto the fourth finger on her left hand. Rey gazed at it. It as a silver band that broke in the middle. Small diamonds lead up to this break. The break was joined by a sapphire and a ruby, touching in the middle, curved around each other, and held together but the silver. It took Rey's breath away. 

Ben stood and put his hands upon her waist. Rey gazed up at him, tears flowing, smiling so wide her cheeks were already hurting. Ben smiled back, his dimples showing. Rey stoked his face and stood on tiptoe to kiss him. Ben smiled, leaned forward so their lips brushed together, and then pulled back suddenly.

“Wait, is this a yes?”

Rey rolled her eyes. “ _Yes._ ” 

Ben smirked and leaned forward, so she was dipped and kissed her again. When her hand came to cup his face, the ring was cold against his cheek. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End!!
> 
> Thank you so so much to everyone who has read, left kudos, commented, messaged me: I love you all so much and am sending you so many internet hugs!! Each one of you has made my day in some shape or form and I'm so grateful you've taken the time to invest in my story. 
> 
> My next Reylo fic [The Virgins Lover](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23528992/chapters/56431609) will be out on Friday so keep your eyes peeled! 
> 
> Stay safe and all my love,
> 
> xxx
> 
> I know things are rough for everyone right now but my work closed and I have no job until next year, so if you liked this story, please consider supporting me on [kofi](https://ko-fi.com/emrys). Any donation will help me through the next few months. Thank you ❤️

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my story! I love reading and responding to all comments and getting kudos', they mean so much to me, so please feel free to leave some!
> 
> Come say hi to me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/anyataylorjxy)


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